I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
