what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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