Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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