you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Mom said you looked used
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
