If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
