this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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