So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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