party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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