with your own penis?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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