I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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