mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
