You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
