I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize