I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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