Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
