I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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