She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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