Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
