Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
