i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
