the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
