she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
