Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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