take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize