: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
