And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
