its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
