Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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