he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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