everyone is single if you try hard enough
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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