Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
