I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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