it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
