He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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