I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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