Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
