Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
