Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
