Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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