I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
