So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize