I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
