I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
