We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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