I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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