YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
