I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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