If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
