Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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