just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
