And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
