: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
