that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
