fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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