If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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