That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
my being single is dangerous.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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