I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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