I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
