so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
