I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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