Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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